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  “Not bad, huh?” I asked as we descended.

  “You forgot one thing, Alex.”

  “Oh? What?” I asked.

  “Now the ghosts can escape too.”

  I looked up and saw a big ball of glowing ghost-energy descending along with us.

  Uh oh…Ghost jailbreak. That can’t be good.

  ()xxxx[:::: Chapter 13 ::::>

  Cursed Item Blues

  You float gently to the ground.

  You are on level 40.

  You are a Level 36 Orc Samurai.

  Your hair is growing quickly.

  Hunger is not your concern.

  You smell monsters nearby.

  At least I didn’t take any falling damage.

  I smelled a strong animal odor in the air.

  “You’re smelling foul,” I said, looking down at Tabby.

  “It’s not me.”

  She nodded her head toward the open doorway on the other side of the room. I wandered over to the only exit from the room. The cool down period on the chain lightning from Thor’s Hammer wouldn’t end for another twenty-four hours. I hoped I didn’t run into anything too exotic. Being on a boss level, I wasn’t so sure.

  Over half of the roguelike remained beneath me, including a final battle with the Wizard of Yendro. I pushed thoughts of Regina out of my mind as I crossed the room. All the hair on my body had given me a few extra points on my armor class, but I itched like crazy. Tabby wasn’t having an easy time either.

  I stopped in front of the door and looked down at her.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  She glanced up.

  “Does it look like I’m okay?”

  “Sorry,” I said then frowned as I opened the door.

  I heard a loud gong in the distance.

  “Let’s go,” I said, walking forward.

  A short tunnel on the other side of the door opened into another vast cavern. At the opposite end, there’s a trio of ogres wearing loose fitting gold robes. They turned as I entered, none of them looking happy. As I zapped the Wand of Fire & Fury, an ogre raised his hands, palms out, and threw up a Wall of Protection. My fireball hit the magic barrier and exploded.

  “Careful,” Tabby said. “I’ve got so much hair now, I’m easily ignitable.”

  You drop Thor’s Hammer.

  Huh? I reached down and picked it up.

  “The cursed gloves,” Tabby reminded me. “Maybe we should go back up a level.”

  “No. I’ve got this…”

  I stepped into the cavern as the ogres lumbered toward me. The one of the left deftly moved his giant hands then pointed a finger in my direction.

  The ogre mage lightning MUTILATES you for 87 damage.

  You have [724/811] health remaining.

  As I shook from the electrical shock, I zapped the wand again.

  Your Fire & Fury MUTILATES an ogre mage for 69 damage.

  Your Fire & Fury MAIMS an ogre mage for 53 damage.

  Your Fire & Fury DECIMATES an ogre mage for 33 damage.

  The Wand of Fire & Fury has [19/134] charges.

  All three ogres yelled then cast spells. Three more lightning bolts hit me.

  The ogre mage lightning MUTILATES you for 62 damage.

  The ogre mage lightning MAIMS you for 54 damage.

  The ogre mage lightning DISEMBOWELS you for 113 damage.

  The Wand of Fire & Fury slips from your hand.

  You have [495/811] health remaining.

  I cursed my cursed gloves then ran forward. Three ogres at once wouldn’t be easy, but if they were engaged in melee, they wouldn’t be able to cast as easily.

  My battle-cry echoed in the vast chamber as I ran toward them. The ogre in front looked past me, fear and terror etched on his face. Finally, someone takes me seriously.

  All three ogres turned and ran for a tunnel at the other end of the room. I slowed down then stopped. They can’t be that afraid of me. I turned around. My heart sank.

  Five ghostly spirits floated into the room.

  Uh oh. This is not good.

  “Come on, Tabby!” I yelled then ran after the fleeing ogres.

  She followed me to the other side of the cavern and into another tunnel.

  A lightning bolt shot down the tunnel and hit me on the chest.

  The ogre mage lightning MUTILATES you for 73 damage.

  You have [422/811] health remaining.

  I reached for the Wand of Fire & Fury then realized I’d never picked it up after dropping it. Thanks to the cursed gloves. Trapped between three ogre mages and a handful of powerful ghosts, I pulled out my Wand of Digging.

  With six charges left, I zapped the wall of the tunnel to my left. A smoothly bored hole appeared. I hoped the five remaining charges would be enough to get away from my OP enemies as I ran into the new tunnel.

  The wailing sounds of the ghosts increased in volume as I ran. At the end of the freshly dug tunnel, I discovered I’d been lucky and zapped into another room.

  As I walked in, the three ogre mages appeared from the regular entrance. The one in front cast a spell, filling the room with dark, thick smoke. I coughed twice.

  “This way!” Tabby yelled, running toward a door on the other side of the room.

  I sprinted after her, covering my face with my forearm. When I reached the door, I flung it open where another tunnel led off into the distance. I took off running with the ogres following behind me.

  Ghosts wailed behind them. I shut the door and took off down the new hallway. Maybe I can circle around and get the Wand of Fire & Fury. I slowed down as I neared another door. The ogre mages had to be the big boss for the level. Should I keep going and hope for the best or stay and fight?

  I turned the handle and opened the door. A round room lit by torches on the other side appeared safe enough as I walked in, closing the flimsy wooden door behind me. Two other doors in the room were closed.

  Thor’s Hammer slips out of your hands.

  I sighed and reached down to pick up my main weapon.

  What are these? Gloves of Butter-Fingers?

  “You should heal,” Tabby said. “I think we might end up fighting.”

  “No kidding,” I muttered, taking two of my seven healing potions out.

  I quaffed them both.

  You feel better.

  You have [575/811] health remaining.

  You feel better.

  You have [764/811] health remaining.

  Not fully healed, but it wasn’t worth using a more powerful potion so close to my max health. I scanned my inventory, looking for something to help me out of my current situation.

  You hear sounds of fighting in the distance.

  Would the ogre mages defeat the ghosts? How many would come out of The Graveyard and into the main game? Both questions concerned me, but I had more pressing matters. I strode over to the closest door. With Thor’s Hammer in one hand, I turned the brass handle with my free hand.

  The door handle slips out of your grasp.

  Come on! I took a deep breath then tried again. Stupid cursed gloves. The door opened to another hallway. Battle sounds continued getting louder as I walked to the new door. I opened it and saw yet another hallway leading into the distance. I walked through, gripping Thor’s Hammer as tightly as possible. The stupid cursed gloves still made me drop it twice.

  “What now?” Tabby asked as we approached another door.

  “Keep going,” I said. “The ghosts should keep the other monsters busy and vice versa.”

  Tabby laughed.

  “What?” I asked as I glanced down at her.

  She shook her head, her hair still growing longer.

  “In another day or two, we’ll be so covered with hair it won’t matter.”

  I grinned, knowing she had a point.

  “We’ll worry about that later,” I said. “For now, we need to get out of here.”

  I opened the door and saw a long, wide room empty except for a bag laying on its own on th
e floor. As the sounds of the nearby battle got closer, I walked over and picked up the cloth sack.

  You get an empty bag.

  Great. I tossed it to the floor. With no other items or exits in the room, I returned the way I’d come. Back at the last room, an ogre stood against the wall, breathing heavy.

  He looked at me, blinked, then ran forward with a sword-sized dagger. I lifted Thor’s Hammer, hoping it didn’t slip out of my fingers when I needed it the most.

  The ogre mage DECIMATES you for 39 damage.

  You have [725/811] health remaining.

  You MAIM the ogre mage for 56 damage.

  You DEVASTATE the ogre mage for 45 damage.

  The ogre mage MAIMS you for 58 damage.

  You have [667/811] health remaining.

  A pair of wailing ghosts entering the room broke up our fight. The ogre turned as they attacked him. I backed away, heading for the other door I hadn’t tried.

  Tabby was already in the hallway waiting for me.

  “About time you showed up,” she said.

  I shut the door then jogged down the hall to another door.

  Please let the down staircase be in the next room.

  My wish didn’t come true. The cramped room held nothing.

  “You should use the Wand of Digging down,” Tabby said.

  I shook my head.

  “No, not yet. If the ogres win against the ghosts, they’ll be worn down after the fight. The same holds true if the ghosts win. I can take either of them once they’ve been worn down a bit.”

  “We’re going to die, aren’t we?” Tabby asked.

  “Don’t talk like that,” I snapped. “You want some more catnip, don’t you?”

  Her ears perked up at the mere mention of the word.

  “That would make me very happy,” she said.

  An ogre yelled in agony nearby.

  Were the ogres losing? Only one way to find out.

  I opened the door then crept down the hallway toward the room where the ghosts were battling the ogres. When I reached the door, I stopped. The sounds of the battle in the room beyond had grown even louder. Wailing ghosts and spell-singing ogres?

  Ever so slowly, I turned the handle and cracked the door, peeking out. A lightning bolt bounced from wall to wall. I kicked the door open the rest of the way and saw two ogres standing back to back in center of the room. Ghosts surrounded both of them.

  Over a dozen of them had found their way into the room. The ogre facing my direction noticed me as a few more ghosts flew in.

  “You!” he cried, pointing an accusatory finger.

  His buddy cast a spell. A protective barrier formed around them in the shape of a bell. The ghosts, frustrated, turned to face me.

  All of them flew forward, screeching and wailing in unison. I changed my mind about trying to fight and slammed the door shut. While running to the tiny, unoccupied room, a realization hit me. If I used the Wand of Digging to go down, the ghosts would be able to follow. Too many of them had escaped The Graveyard. Would they overrun the entire game?

  Reaching the dead-end room, I closed the door even though it wouldn’t stop the ghosts. My heart raced as I struggled to find the best solution to my problem, one to keep me alive longer.

  Thor’s Hammer slips from your hands.

  I stooped to pick it up then got out my Wand of Digging. The sound of wailing ghosts continued to get closer. I put away Thor’s Hammer and reached down to get Tabby.

  “You better not drop me,” she said.

  “I won’t,” I said then zapped the wand at the floor.

  We sank down the smooth hole to the next level.

  ()xxxx[:::: Chapter 14 ::::>

  Twisty Little Passages

  You are on level 41 (-2050’)

  You are a Level 36 Orc Samurai.

  You hear wailing in the distance.

  The hole dropped us into a twisty tunnel. I heard ghosts following, so I ran as soon as we hit the floor. The direction didn’t matter if we could escape. After only five steps, I triggered a teleportation plate hidden in the floor.

  You do not feel disoriented.

  Do you wish to teleport to another level?

  Teleport control could come in handy.

  “Yes,” I said, hoping to get a bit of distance between us and the ghosts.

  Tabby wiggled in my arms.

  “Be still if you want to come along,” I said.

  She settled down.

  Teleport to what level?

  I thought a moment. Too deep down and I’d die quickly at my level. On the other hand, if I didn’t go deep enough, I’d likely run into the ghosts again. The sound of their wailing got closer.

  “Fifty-one,” I said then typed it into the game interface with my thoughts.

  Everything around me faded. When everything redrew, I found myself in a narrow room with a long, oaken table running down the center.

  You are on level 51 (-2050’)

  You are a Level 36 Orc Samurai.

  You feel frightened.

  Because my character is too low level? The ghosts? Or something else?

  The mysterious messages made the game even more difficult to beat. As I played longer, it became easier to imagine myself beating the Wizard of Yendro.

  Even if Regina, my one-time friend, had taken over the character of the main boss, I would take her out to escape the roguelike and reenter the Tower of Gates.

  I missed adventuring with other people. Tabby was nice and all, but I missed human communication. My hairy cat squirmed in my arms, so I set her down on the cold cobblestones.

  “You’re getting heavy,” I said.

  “Find something to cut our hair,” she said. “We should’ve never drunk from that fountain.”

  “The constitution bump was worth it,” I said. “We’ll figure it out.”

  She shook her entire body then began licking the mud out of her fur.

  As she cleaned herself, I looked around. No doors or other entrances to the room. Weird. A secret room of some sort? I searched the walls for signs of a hidden doorway.

  “Can I have some water?” Tabby asked.

  “Sure,” I said. “We have plenty.”

  I poured her some water. She lapped it up out of the metal dish I kept for her. As she drank, I pulled out a couple servings of beef jerky to fight off the hunger in my belly.

  Our supplies were running low, but finding food and water wouldn’t be difficult if we kept moving. That was the key. Unfortunately, roguelikes were notorious for making it difficult.

  After eating and drinking enough for two men my size, I returned to searching the room for an exit. When I didn’t find one after another hour, I pulled out the Wand of Digging.

  “Time to leave, Tabby,” I said.

  She’d cleaned off a lot of the mud but still looked rough. I couldn’t imagine how I appeared after so many days deep down in the dank, dark dungeon.

  “Okay,” she said. “Did you find a door?”

  “No.” I stooped down and picked her up. “Time to use the four remaining charges of the wand. Ready?”

  “Yes, Alex. This room scares me.”

  With her nestled against my chest with one arm, I used my other hand to point the wand at the floor. Before I had a chance to zap, the cursed glove made my hand twitch, breaking the wood.

  “No,” I shouted in frustration as the two pieces fell to the floor, smoke rising.

  “You need to get those gloves off,” Tabby said.

  “No kidding,” I snapped, setting her on the table.

  She strutted down to the other end as if my words held no meaning.

  “Wake me when you figure it out,” she called out over her shoulder.

  I took a deep breath to control my anger. Getting upset wouldn’t help solve the problem. The game wouldn’t stop me by starving me in a room I teleported to randomly.

  Or would it?

  * * * * *

  Adventurer’s Journal Day Three: I’m ready
to kill my cat companion, Tabby. Not out of malice or spite but necessity. She looks delicious, the perfect size for one final meal.

  The morbid thought tumbled around in my brain as I closed my eyes. Sleep overcame my exhausted body as I sat with my back against the wall at one end of the long table.

  Dreams of dancing cats turning into roasts infiltrated my mind. The images disturbed me enough to wake me from my slumber. I raised the canteen to my lips for a small drink.

  Nothing came out. I needed water before food. Dehydration had already taken a toll on my body. Too tired to search for a way out, I’d grown weary and spent the last day resting.

  “We should do something,” Tabby said as she laid on top of the table.

  “No kidding,” I said. “What do you suggest?”

  My dry, cracked lips hurt as I spoke.

  “What’s in your backpack?”

  “No food,” I said then giggled.

  “What’s so funny?” Tabby asked.

  “Nothing,” I replied. “Too painful to laugh.”

  She didn’t answer.

  “Tabby?” I sat up. “Are you okay?”

  “You can’t eat me yet unless you kill me first,” she said.

  “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

  Even if it wasn’t a truly honest statement, I wanted to put her at ease. The last thing I needed was a hairy, mad cat attacking me in a small, enclosed room with little space.

  I stared at the broken Wand of Digging. Could I repair it? While I didn’t have a create magic item skill, maybe I could figure it out? I reached toward the two pieces of wood.