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  All the statues had come to life. Or they were alive the whole time.

  Either way, I saw a half-dozen beings even bigger than the stone giant we had seen.

  “What do you want?” one said in a thunderous voice.

  I slowly bent to pick up my sword while keeping my eyes on them.

  “Well?” another of the giants asked. “Why are you here?”

  I glanced over my shoulder and noticed the Four Wizards hiding behind giant boulders near the path through the canyon. Why are they hiding?

  Something big hit me in the chest, knocking the air from my lungs and sending me to the ground, struggling to breathe.

  The Giant Stone Troll’s rock WOUNDS you for 17 damage.

  You have [106/123] health remaining.

  “That was a warning pebble,” one of the creatures bellowed in a gravelly voice.

  One of his companions pick up an even bigger boulder. He hefted it over his head, ready to toss it at me.

  “Run, you idiot!” Sherlock shouted behind me.

  I turned and ran, zig-zagging back and forth like I was avoiding a tackle on the final play of a championship game. The huge rock hit the ground on my left.

  As it rushed forward, I turned and headed for one of the boulders the wizards were hiding behind. Over my shoulder, I heard the giant stone trolls laughing.

  “Bowling for humans time!” one of them shouted with glee.

  He rolled a stone toward us. It ricocheted on the boulder I was hiding behind. Aaron and Thom stood next to me while Ferris and Sherlock hid behind another rock.

  “Are you going to kill them?” I asked.

  “You’re the fighter,” Thom said. “You go kill them.”

  Aaron chuckled quietly. I peeked over the bounder and saw the six giant stone trolls walking toward us, rocks in their hands.

  “Come out, tasty humans,” one taunted.

  “Now!” Ferris shouted from a few feet away.

  He and Sherlock let loose a fury of lightning spells. I wondered if they’d ever faced stone trolls before because of the ineffectiveness of their tactics.

  The giants laughed as if the electricity was tickling them.

  “Follow up!” Thom shouted as he and Aaron stood.

  They both cast their own spells. I peeked around the side of the boulder and saw the giant stone trolls slow down considerably.

  “Go kill them,” Thom ordered.

  Sword in both hands, I cautiously walked around the boulder. With the giant stone trolls moving so slow, I felt as if I had super-speed or something. I ran up to one of them and swung.

  Your slash HITS the stone troll for 8 damage.

  Your slash INJURES the stone troll for 12 damage.

  Your slash HITS the stone troll for 7 damage.

  Your pierce GRAZES the stone troll for 5 damage.

  Before the creature could turn, I ran to the next one and unleashed another set of attacks.

  Your slash SCRATCHES the stone troll for 2 damage.

  Your slash HITS the stone troll for 9 damage.

  Your slash GRAZES the stone troll for 4 damage.

  Your pierce GRAZES the stone troll for 5 damage.

  While not doing a lot of damage, at least I was doing something. The same couldn’t be said for the Four Wizards. I glanced over and saw them conferring with each other.

  “A little help would be nice!” I shouted.

  “Be careful!” Thom yelled back.

  As I prepared to attack again, the stone trolls returned to full speed. I ran toward a nearby rock to hide. Three of them got some good hits in before I could get away.

  The stone troll MAULS you for 22 damage.

  The stone troll WOUNDS you for 18 damage.

  The stone troll MAULS you for 27 damage.

  You have [39/123] health remaining.

  I fumed at the wizards not giving me more notice about the duration of their slow spell. Luckily, they let off another round of pyrotechnics, capturing the stone trolls’ attention.

  As I crouched behind the boulder, wishing I had a way to heal myself, I saw three of the giant stone trolls topple to the ground and stop moving.

  That’s what I’m talking about!

  My heart raced faster as the remaining three went wild, chasing after the wizards in their colorful robes. Sherlock blinked from spot to spot, driving the stone trolls even crazier.

  The scene would’ve been comical if I wasn’t so close to death. I kept hiding, not ashamed of staying alive in one of the hardest games I had ever played in my entire life.

  I watched as two more stone trolls fell, becoming unmoving statues. The last of their bunch appeared as strong as ever. Every time they hit him, he healed quickly.

  “We’re out of mana!” Thom shouted.

  He and Aaron both retreated behind a boulder. I watched in horror as the stone troll creeped closer to the other two wizards.

  Ferris stood and slowed the creature, but neither him nor Sherlock followed up with any offensive spells. These were the most bumbling wizards I had ever met.

  I walked out from around the boulder, thinking horrible thoughts about what Sylvar might do to Sarah. My anger boiled over, sending me into a proper rage.

  Barbarian Rage Activated!

  My stomach muscles clenched as my entire body shook with fury. Everything appeared red as

  I ran toward the giant stone troll, hoping the combination of the wizards’ buffs, my barbarian rage, and the creature being slowed down were enough to help me win.

  Critical Hit!

  Your slash MAIMS the stone troll for 58 damage.

  Your pierce MAULS the stone troll for 24 damage.

  Your slash WOUNDS the stone troll for 19 damage.

  Your pierce DECIMATES the stone troll for 32 damage.

  The giant stone troll is regenerating!

  I watched the wounds I had given the pockmarked troll heal.

  “He’s stolen the life energy of the other trolls!” Sherlock shouted as if I understood during my barbarian rage. “We need to keep pounding him.”

  The last part I understood well enough. My sword’s blade might end up ruined before I finished the stone troll off, but I had to keep trying.

  Your slash INJURES the stone troll for 14 damage.

  Your pierce MAULS the stone troll for 24 damage.

  Your slash WOUNDS the stone troll for 19 damage.

  Your pierce DECIMATES the stone troll for 32 damage.

  The giant stone troll is regenerating!

  I kept attacking through my rage, chopping the stone-like creature into tiny bits. As I calmed down, I noticed the pieces slowly melding back together.

  Ferris walked out from behind a nearby boulder.

  “Good job,” he said. “Perfect timing with the rage.”

  I nodded, still feeling close to death.

  “Give me Gnome Fire Oil,” Ferris said.

  Thom ran forward and held out a flask, saying, “Original recipe.”

  I backed up a few steps as Ferris doused the quickly reforming creature with a thick, oily liquid. When he lit it, unholy screams rang out, echoing up and down the canyon.

  “Ugh,” I said, holding my forearm over my nose. “That smells terrible.”

  After a few pops, the fire died down.

  Combat is Over!

  You get (ZERO) experience points!

  “Hey!” I shouted. “What gives?”

  Sherlock smiled as he rolled up the sleeves of his dirty yellow robes.

  “Bracelets of Identity Theft,” he said, showing off two silver bands.

  “We had to do it,” Ferris said. “A battle this large would’ve tripped the game’s sensors. You can’t level too quickly without consequences. Believe me, we’ve tried.”

  “Okay,” I said, but I was still unconvinced.

  “Don’t worry,” Thom said. “You’ll level up again before this is all over.”

  “Uh-huh,” I said, still not convinced. “Can someone heal me?”


  “Sure,” Thom said as he walked over.

  He stuffed a small, blue bottle in my hand.

  “Take one of those and call me in the morning,” he said.

  Nobody else laughed at the joke other than himself. I uncorked the liquid then put it to my nose. The faint smell of fish and coconut filled my nostrils.

  “Yuck,” I said. “Do you have one that tastes better?”

  “Quit complaining,” Sherlock said. “When I was your level…”

  “Look,” Aaron interrupted, pointing further down the canyon.

  I turned and saw a shadowy figure observing us.

  “That’s Gord-En,” Ferris yelled. “Get him!”

  I downed the contents of the potion in one gulp.

  You feel better!

  You have [123/123] health remaining.

  “After him!” Sherlock shouted.

  The Four Wizards ran forward at an amazing pace, leaving me literally in the dust. I coughed and struggled forward, grumbling to myself the entire way.

  Had the game driven everyone inside it nuts? Would I suffer the same fate?

  I vowed to never become as crazy as some of the others I had met in the game.

  13

  You Guys Aren’t Nice

  Josh

  I caught up to them half a mile or so away. The Four Wizards all stood in front of a cave entrance. None of them paid me any attention at first.

  “He’s in there,” Sherlock said. “I’m sure of it.”

  As I caught my breath, I peered into the dark interior of the cave, seeing nothing.

  “We’ll send in the barbarian,” Ferris said.

  “Hold on,” I said. “You guys are the powerful wizards. Why are you always having me do stuff you could do with a wave of your hands?”

  All four men laughed.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked.

  Ferris shook his head, saying, “You’re too much!”

  “He’s the first to call us out on it,” Aaron said.

  The other three wizards nodded in agreement.

  “Good job, barbarian,” Ferris said.

  “We’ll note this in your employee file,” Thom added.

  All four broke into another fit of laughter.

  “Shouldn’t we be going after the rogue?” I asked after I realized they weren’t going to answer my question.

  “Yes,” Ferris said. “You should be going after him. Go on, then.”

  He nodded his head toward the dark cave entrance.

  “You’re not coming in with me?” I asked.

  “Too dangerous,” Ferris said.

  Sherlock burped then nodded. “Much too dangerous for us,” he said.

  “But it’s okay for me?” I asked, shaking my head.

  “We’ll be out here waiting,” Ferris said.

  I sighed then held up my battered sword with both hands. Maybe I could find the rogue and convince him to help me get away from the wacky wizards?

  Before going inside, I lit a torch. With it in one hand and my sword in the other, I walked into the cave. The Four Wizards weren’t being nice to me, but I sensed something seriously wrong with each of them, especially the quiet one.

  Aaron’s black robes and their admitting to working with Magictology made me nervous. I pushed the doubts and fears aside as I crept to the back of the cave.

  The cavern narrowed to a tunnel leading deeper underground. Should I follow it? Go back? Yell out for Gord-En to help me? I needed to make a choice.

  Hoping for the best, I ventured into the tunnel. Moss covered the walls on both sides. The further I went, the thicker it became. Soon, it covered the floor.

  I kept walking, not paying it any attention until I felt drowsy. Tiny specks of pollen floated through the air as my torch cast strange shadows on the wall. Am I okay?

  Thoughts of the game and everything fell away. I dropped my sword and torch to the ground before sitting down. Leaning with my back against the moss, I closed my eyes.

  Sleep overtook me.

  “Wake up, big oaf!” Sherlock yelled.

  I opened my eyes and saw the Four Wizards standing over me.

  “Where’s the rogue?” Ferris asked then glanced down the tunnel.

  “I don’t know,” I said.

  “You set off a trap,” Thom said as if it were a good thing.

  “Better him than us,” Sherlock said.

  I struggled to stand, still feeling woozy.

  “Hold on, big guy,” Thom said. “You need another potion.”

  “I’ll be fine,” I said, unable to stand.

  Thom handed me another tiny bottle, this one red.

  “What’s this do?” I asked.

  “Tastes like cherry,” Thom said.

  “Cool, but what does it do?”

  “You’ll find out after you drink it.” Thom chuckled then turned to Sherlock. “A thousand platinum says he doesn’t drink it.”

  “Bet,” Sherlock said then stroked his long, white beard.

  I didn’t want Thom to lose money, but I also felt terrible. After uncorking the bottle, I drank the liquid inside down without bothering to smell it.

  The faint licorice aftertaste wasn’t bad, but what did it do?

  “What did I just drink?” I asked.

  Thom laughed. “Sugar water,” he said.

  I grumbled as I pulled myself up.

  “Did you see the rogue at least?” Ferris asked.

  “No,” I said.

  “Useless piece of garbage,” Sherlock snorted.

  “Watch it, old man,” I said, grabbing the front of his robes.

  “Let me go!” he shouted. “Or face my wrath.”

  “I’ve been with him around the campfire after beans night,” Thom said. “You don’t want to face his wrath. Believe me.”

  The tension spilled away as I laughed at the stupid joke. At least I thought it was a joke. I couldn’t know for certain with these wizards.

  “Knock it off,” Ferris said in a serious tone.

  “He’s nearby,” Aaron said. “I can sense him.”

  Ferris and Sherlock wandered deeper down the tunnel. Aaron, Thom, and I followed. Their magic light did better than my extinguished torch.

  A ball of light following Ferris lit the path ahead. Why was it so important to chase the rogue down? He hadn’t killed the lich or anything.

  Just when I thought I was beginning to understand the game, the rules changed on me. I planned on suing the corporation behind the Tower of Gates.

  My dreams of riches faded as a loud barking sound brought me back to my present predicament. The Four Wizards all stopped in the tunnel.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  The yapping continued.

  “Go check it out, barbarian,” Sherlock said.

  I sighed then pushed them aside to walk forward.

  The tunnel opened to another cavern ahead. Even with the strong light, I couldn’t make out anything in the darkness. The barking continued.

  “Sounds like a big dog,” I said over my shoulder.

  “Go check it out,” Ferris hissed. “Hurry up.”

  I sighed then gripped my sword even tighter. The barking continued as I approached the sound. Can the dog not see me or something?

  When I reached the cavern, I glanced around. The shadow of a huge dog on a wall to my left made me flinch. I held my sword over my left shoulder.

  “Here doggy, doggy,” I said.

  While I saw the shadow, I didn’t see the actual dog. The closer I got, the more I realized something wasn’t quite right. I stopped near the wall.

  A tiny clay figurine of a dog sat on a flat rock. The barking sounds were somehow coming out of it. I wondered if I should pick it up or not.

  “What is it?” Ferris asked.

  “Come and see,” I said. “Magic item, I think.”

  The Four Wizards crept over to me.

  “I’ve seen these before,” Aaron said.

  “The Filcher’s Guild makes them, right
?” Sherlock asked.

  I reached down to pick it up.

  “No!” Ferris shouted as he pushed me.

  “Traps!” Sherlock said. “You always check for traps.”

  “I’m a fighter!” I growled. “That trap stuff is for you guys. I’m not even sure why you brought me along with you. You could be doing all this on your own.”

  “But you’re fun to have around,” Thom said.

  “And you’re unique,” Ferris said. “In that you don’t have a PIN.”

  “Pin?”

  “A prisoner identification number.” Ferris studied my face. “Do you know anything about why you don’t have one?”

  “My girlfriend’s friend hacked into what we thought was a game,” I said. “That’s all I know.”

  All four wizards watched me closely for a few silent and tense moments.

  “Interesting,” Thom said then chuckled.

  His bright red hair looked odd in the magical light.

  “We need to keep looking,” Ferris said. “He’s around here somewhere.”

  “Let me check the dagger again,” Sherlock said.

  He held out his palm with the dagger in it. All four wizards studied it carefully, nodding their heads thoughtfully but not saying anything.

  “Well?” I asked.

  “He’s definitely somewhere close,” Ferris said. “But where…”

  “Are you going to check for traps on the dog figurine?” I asked.

  “It should be fine,” Sherlock said, not paying attention.

  Without waiting for them, I reached down and picked it up. The barking noise continued.

  “Anyone know how I get this to stop or what it’s for?” I asked.

  “Merlin’s Watchdog,” Thom said. “It’s like a motion detector.”

  “Cool,” I said, still studying it in my hand.

  “They’re made to only work for one person,” Sherlock said.

  I sighed then dropped it to the ground.

  “This way,” Ferris said.

  He walked toward one of two tunnels in the cavern besides the one we had come in through. I still doubted whether I had made the right choice in going with them or not.